The Bart, The Bard, and The Playmate

by: Victor H. Royer - So here I am, well after midnight, thinking yet again about Slots, and what else I can say. You see, I have been writing about slots since 1984. I have written thousands of articles about slots, and about casino games, including, of course, my 55 books. So – as always being ready and willing to write something new, or weird – it occurred to me that there has been nothing more so in demand – perhaps in the annals of my creative writing these past 37 years – than my compositions related to Poker. Well, at least I mean this humorously. And similarly, so for my shall-we-say “newer” expeditions into big wins on Monopoly Live.

But I digress …

So – since it has thus here become my quest to add something yet at least partially interesting, I thought that perhaps today I can revisit an interview I conducted with Sam Simon. If you don’t recognize the name, then perhaps you will recall Homer Simpson, his son Bart, and the rest of the gang on the animated show: “The Simpsons.” You see, Sam Simon is the co-creator of this iconic TV show. And he is an avid poker player, and runs a regular Hollywood Home Poker Game, one which used to be broadcast on the Playboy Channel (and may still be, but I haven’t watched the Playboy channel in a while – but several Episodes are also available on You Tube as well).

Along with, of course, lots and lots of really great looking Playmates.

Frankly, I don’t now how any poker player – men at least – can keep their eyes on the cards when there are Playboy Playmates running around with little or nothing on. And I should know – you see, when I was in Hollywood, many years ago, I was a regular visitor to the Playboy Mansion. I know it well. But let us leave that thought for a discussion at another time.

For today, I’d like to take a short departure, and tell you more about my interview with Sam Simon. So, here it is:

A tale of Homeric proportions has been unleashed on TV.  That’s Homer as in “Simpsons,” not Homer as in “The Iliad” and “The Odyssey.”  For those of you who are not familiar with Greek literature, Homer was the great, great, great grandpappy of Bart.  Anyway, so the story goes – as far as history is concerned.

We jest ye not, and pray tell ye Bard speaketh.  That’s “Bard,” as opposed to “Bart” – the aforementioned historical figure also closely related to William Shakespeare.

And just to make sure that we mix up this literary soup with as many cans of beans as we can find, or – in this case a good dose of ye juicy tomatoes – known to most of us mortals as Playboy Playmates, we shall liberally sprinkle this tale of many cuties (with apologies to Charles Dickens) by also including a few bags of chips – the poker kind, not the ones to munch on when you run out of nails and fingers.

And so dear travelers upon this road of quasi-intellectual mirth, this entire preamble leads us to the inevitable conclusion that this article leads directly to Mr. Sam Simon, well-known writer, TV producer, and to most of us known as the co-creator of the famous TV show “The Simpsons.”  As such, this show being a masterpiece of contemporary intelligentsia unseen since Homer and Shakespeare, we shall all now bow in silence as we truly appreciate the wisdom of the Bart (that’s the other one, not Shakespeare).

Having so bestowed upon us this iconic Americanism in the form of the first family of television, Mr. Simon has now granted upon us the joy of delicious Playboy Playmates, first and foremost in the form of Brande Roderick, and numerous television and poker playing celebrities, as they participate in “Sam’s Game,” the poker show on the Playboy TV channel.

Here we have not only poker action, but laughter and comedy and beautiful women all cavorting together in Sam’s beautiful Hollywood home, as they vie for the attention of good cards and mountains of poker chips, while at the same time trying not to be distracted by the ever present scantily clad Playboy Playmates, at their beck and call for every dream and wish.

And so you too can join in these festivities simply by tuning in to your Playboy TV channel at the appointed hour and day, and watching not only great and hot poker action, the comedic stylings of many Hollywood celebrities and other participants, but also the hot babes that will make you envy the late and great Hugh Hefner (in case you don’t already do so).

Among the many famous players in Sam’s game were Norm McDonald (sadly, he recently passed away), Jennifer Tilly, Jennifer Lee, Phil Laak, Brande Roderick, and Playboy Playmates Deanna Brooks, Stacy Fuson, and Andrea Lowell.

During my interview with Sam, I asked him several questions regarding this particular television poker show, and what is different about it from other poker shows now appearing on television.

First and foremost, Sam’s Game is completely uncensored, and therefore you will get a really rich insight into the dialogue of the true Hollywood home poker game with all of its intensely literary colorations.  But Wait, There’s More! 

I specifically asked Sam what is different about his poker show as opposed to High Stakes Poker.  “There are two main differences,” he said, “the first being that the stakes are not high, and the second that the players are funny.”  This is in line with the theme of the program which is very much directed to being more of a social game, and therefore actually more representative of the kind of Hollywood home games that these participants actually play.

I also asked Sam what was different about his show from the Hollywood Home Game and Celebrity Poker Showdown which had also been on TV.

“There is a huge difference between this show and the others,” he said, “because we have all been friends for over 20 years in some cases, and we all know each other, and have played together with each other many times, and therefore this is the kind of game that actually takes place.  We are not strangers,” he continued, “because we all know each other and therefore we are not meeting at the game. We all have a history with each other and therefore the viewers will feel like they are actually sitting in on my game and being a part of it.”

The game was filmed at the Palms Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, and therefore it is a legitimate cash game played under Nevada rules, in a licensed casino.  This makes it even more interesting because viewers can now experience live entertainment, and poker, and celebrities, and Playboy Playmates, all in one fun filled package.

Finally, I asked Sam what it is like playing with all those Playboy Bunnies, and if this was distracting to the players – at least the male kind.

“While it was a difficult decision to participate in a poker game with all those delicious looking Playboy Playmates,” Sam said, “ultimately, when it comes to poker, we as poker players are dedicated to the art of poker, and therefore are not distracted by the voluptuous beauties catering to our every wish and whim.” 

I can certainly appreciate that and empathize with Sam on this score.  Being a poker player myself, I know how truly interesting poker and poker chips may be, especially when the choice we have is to either sit around a table with sweaty cigar smoking men, instead of lounging in the arms of a voluptuous babe who wants to cater to my every whim.  A tough choice, indeed!

So, do give it a whirl, old chap.  You can subscribe to the Playboy TV channel through your local cable company, or satellite provider, and be sure to tune in to Sam’s Game, and experience poker as it was meant to be played.  And if you can’t wait, you can always log on to www.YouTube.com and look at a selection of scenes from all of the recorded episodes.

And so, as the sun sets on yet another day in Hollywood, and the moon rises over the glittering neon skyscape of Las Vegas, we leave you with the immortal words of perhaps the most famous showman of them all, P. T. Barnum, and his prophetic wisdom: “There’s a sucker born every minute!” 

And so, if you do not want to be one of that particular caste, then we humbly suggest that you participate and partake in Sam’s Game on the Playboy TV channel, and You Tube.

Let there be good cheer and smiles all around!

Best of Luck!

Vegas Vic